for that which has no rewind

I wish I knew how to make things work. It seems, instead, like everything I go into, I really have no control over. If I could let it go, I would, but right now, I'm just too far in it to forget it. So I'm thinking that if I just do one stupid thing... That's excusable, right? It'll only be the one... Who am I kidding? Of course it's not excusable... That's the only one stupid thing I need to do to crash and burn. So, really, what do I do instead? Mope around until this feeling goes away? God knows that won't take long. But is that really the point? Is it really the point that if it'll go away fast that it's OK to just... let it go? I rarely wonder if I'm making the right choice. It's usually that I just pick one and run right at it until the wall breaks. Well, rarely; I'm beginning to think that this may be one of those choices I might regret for a long long time. Especially if I don't say anything. If I do, at least I know. But then again, is that knowledge really worth breaking a good bond? I don't know, so either way, I may regret after all.

So what now? I've been told, "At the end of the day, whatever you do, it's gonna be stupid anyway." And sure, that's true, but that really doesn't help me. Between two stupid things to do; who do I want to hurt more? Us, me or her?